Life Isn't so Wonderful
by Phoebsfan
Summary: "You think the world would be a better place without you. Am I right?" "I wasn't suppose to be here in the first place and ever since I got here all I've done is screw up." Its A Wonderful Life Dark Angel Style...ok I usually don't do this but here it is


Disclaimer: No I do not own anybody; cept little Anna my angelic friend.

Summery: What if she'd never been.  It's a Wonderful Life tale.  

Rating: G how could it not be with the whole theme.

AN: This was written in response to a challenge posted on one of my message boards…Hey fellow Eye Spies…if your reading this say hi.

It would be easy, too easy in fact.  Max revved the engine on her bike as she picked up speed.  Even an X-5 couldn't survive a head on collision at the speed she was traveling.  Daring with fate she swerved missing the wall by inches.  Adrenaline pumped through her veins and she found she enjoyed the feeling.

What alcohol couldn't erase, speeding through the streets of Seattle usually did.  But not tonight.  Her fault.  The two words kept running through her head.  Her fault.

Logan almost died because of her, Zack should have died because of her, and right now dying felt like a good solution.  She always seemed to hurt the people she loved, no matter how hard she tried not to.  She was poison and it wasn't doing anyone any good denying it.

Slowing her speed she came to a stop on a bridge.  Memories of Manticore flooded her mind.  Minutes that felt like hours trapped underwater, of all the things they'd done to her that had left the deepest scar.  Looking down at the dark depths below her she contemplated jumping, or better yet just riding off the edge. It would be a fitting end, her friends could go on hoping and no one would have to find her lifeless body.  The more she thought about it the better it sounded.

After all she was never really meant to live here anyway.  Manticore had created her and now they were destroying her.  A failed test subject.  She should save them the trouble.  The only thing that really bothered her was the fact that she'd live through the drop; it was the underwater hell that would follow that really messed with her.

But beggars couldn't be choosers. 

Backing her bike up she closed her eyes wishing a final farewell to all the people whose lives she'd screwed up.  Opening her eyes for a final time she took one last deep breath and revved her bike.  She'd miss her bike, well if there was a heaven or hell that is.

Just as she was about to take off a bright light blinded her.  Closing her eyes she swore at the driver of the car whose headlights were shining in her eyes.  Opening her eyes once more she found no car, which made sense in the fact that she hadn't heard one, but instead a little girl of about six with long dark tumbling curls and bright blue eyes.  Where had she come from?  Looking around but finding no obvious clue, she turned back to the little girl who looked close to tears.  Climbing off her bike she knelt in front of the girl.

"Are you lost?" Max asked reaching a hand out to the child.

"No, but you are." The little girl informed.  Max smiled to try and reassure the child that she wasn't.

"Where is your mommy?" Max tried again.

"Listen Max, we don't have much time so lets just get this over with…k?" the girl asked brazenly.  Max rocked back on her heels shocked at the little girls comment.  For such a little girl she packed quite a punch.

"How did you?" Max asked and the little girl smiled again the picture of innocence.  Stretching out her hand toward Max she continued with her speech.

"You think the world would be a better place without you.  Am I right?" she questioned timidly.  Max grabbed her hand and rose to her feet nodding in shame.  It was stupid but the little girl had warmed something in her half drunk state that seemed to make everything she'd been thinking feel wrong.   Shaking the feeling off Max relied on her quick reflects and acidic tongue to back her up.

"I wasn't even meant to be here in the first place and ever since I got here all I've done is screw up." Max reasoned.

"Close your eyes." The little girl pleaded tugging on Max's hand.  Casting a quizzical and noncommittal look toward the girl, Max refused to comply.

"Come on.  We don't have to do this the hard way to we?"  Still Max didn't move.  "Ok.  Fine we'll do it your way." Max smiled as the little girl rolled her eyes.  She was almost angelic; the thought ran through Max's mind and just as quickly was dismissed. "My name is Anna and I'm to show you what life without you would mean to Seattle."  Max laughed.

"Right so I'm Jimmy Stewart and your going to take me on a trip to an alternative Christmas right.  Vacuum cleaner salesmen and all." 

"You've seen the movie?" Anna questioned smiling.  Max's jaw dropped and it was Anna's turn to laugh.

"Hey I'm new at this ok so can you give me a chance.  I'd really like my wings." Anna's eyes lit up with the mention of getting her wings.

"Sure, that water isn't going anywhere right." It couldn't hurt to comply with this drunk delusion could it, Max reasoned. 

Closing her eyes Max felt the wind pick up around her, not a chilly wind but more of a light warm breeze that danced through her hair like laughter.

"Ok we are here." Anna said as Max opened her eyes to an empty bedroom.

"I don't understand; I haven't been here before." Max questioned.

"Just watch." Anna whispered and turned toward Max as another little girl entered the room followed by a prison warden.  Maria.   The bile started to rise in Max's throat and Anna turned her head to hide against Max's side.  

Having seen enough Max closed her eyes again.  When she opened them again she found herself in what appeared to be a laboratory.  Anna pulled away from her side and shuddered, looking around with frightened eyes.  They should have picked someone else to her, Max noted.  There was too much darkness in Max's life already; a six year old shouldn't have to see what she'd seen.

"Where are we?" Max questioned.

"I don't know, you took us here." Anna said quietly.  Max spotted a small form strapped to a table and she walked over to the table only to find a small boy.  Kase.  Looking closer at her surroundings Max noticed that they room was familiar from her recent stay at Manticore.  So Manticore had gotten to him after all.

It was hard not to be effected by the visions and they were only children, but surely it wasn't solely her fault that this had happened.  There were other's who could have helped.

"No Max, there weren't." Anna offered.  Max watched as the small girl placed a kiss on Kase's furrowed brow.  At her touch his brow smoothed and he returned to a less fitful sleep.  "Come on, there is one more place we need to go."  Anna offered her hand again and Max hesitated.  If she ended up in another place like this she didn't think she could take it.  "Its alright.  I'll hold your hand." Anna offered sweetly taking Max's hand and squeezing it.  Max nodded and closed her eyes once more.

This time the trip was bitter.  Icy fingers clutched at her, tearing through her hair the angry wind bit into her skin and left her feeling bruised.

"Open your eyes Max." Anna pleaded and slowly Max complied afraid of what she'd find.  

They were standing in a cemetery.  

Anna tugged on Max's hand and pulled her to a tombstone.

Logan Cale.

Anna's finger pointed to other tombstones with names she didn't know.  Names she had no connection to.  But Max's feet were frozen in place in front of Logan's stone.

"How?" Max managed through her tears.

"You were the only thing that kept him going at times.  You know that.  When he was faced with living without the use of his legs, it was too much for him.  He didn't have anyone Max.  Anyone but you.  Without you he was lost. And so were they." Anna gestured to the rest of the markers.  Countless numbers.  "You two saved so many people, without you they never had a chance."  Max's tears were silent, soldiers didn't cry and so they simply slipped down her silky cheek without noise, respecting her wishes not to lose it completely.

Anna squeezed Max's hand and pulled her down so that Max could look in her eyes.   Reaching out she wiped a few tears off of Max's face and smiled placing a kiss on her cheek. 

"It isn't too late." Anna said softly.  Max only nodded looking away.

"It isn't enough is it?"  Max shook her head.  She still wanted to jump.

"Come on, I'll show you something else.  But I'm not supposed to so we gotta be careful k?" Anna whispered after looking around to make sure no one was there to listen in.  Max couldn't help but smile at her bright eyes and bouncing hair.

Slowly the cemetery melted away and Logan's apartment filled the space.

"Shh." Anna warned and the two watched Logan type something on his computer.  A door swung open and Logan turned around smiling.  

"Jam Pony delivery." Max watched herself walk into his apartment and hand him a package.

"What is it anyway?" she asked.

"Open it." Logan ordered and smiling she complied.

"Its not?" she asked clearly ecstatic.

"Come on.  Sebastian said that it would take a good twenty-four hours to take effect and that after that we'd have to stop in at his lab to have some blood work done but he's almost sure that it's the answer we've been looking for." Logan smiled.

Max blinked and suddenly she found herself back on the bridge.

"Hey!" she objected rudely.  Anna smiled.

"Sorry but I wasn't supposed to show you that much." Grinning impishly she let go of Max's hand.

"Was that…Did we find a cure?" Max asked.

"Can't tell." Anna answered.

"Come on. I promise not to tell." Max bargained.

"Nope."  Max couldn't help but smile at the way Anna closed her eyes and swung back and forth with the negative nodding of her head.

"You should go to him." Anna said after a slight pause.

"I know.  I think I will." Max turned to look at Anna but found she was gone.  Smiling to herself Max hopped back on her bike and let the wind rip through her hair as she headed back to sector nine.

It wasn't all that late.  Maybe Logan would be up for a game of chess.


End file.
